Not much to update as far as the pregnancy goes. At 12w 5d, I am still so sick! Yesterday was horrible. Dan was hungover :) and felt just as crappy, but didn't have all the fun to go along with it the night before! Headache, hungry, but sick to my stomach, but can't eat cause I will throw up... ugh. Such a viscious cycle. I feel so bad complaining about it. I feel guilty. I want this baby so bad, and want he or she to be healthy, and I know there are women out there who would give ANYTHING to be sick because they can't get pregnant... so who am I to complain? I just can't do it. Losing Elizabeth gave me a whole different perspective on pregnancy.
I don't plan on doing any big announcement on facebook. I figure when I see people, they will find out. Otherwise word of mouth. I by no means am trying to hide it. I don't care if people write stuff on my wall in public, I just don't feel the need to post how many weeks I am every week, complain about how sick I am all the time... etc. Right after I lost Elizabeth, these were the hardest things to see, and I just don't want to do that to anyone who is/ has recently struggled with pregnancy complications. I may post when we find out if it is a boy/ girl... and of course when the little one is born! :o)
I am heading to Chicago to see Shannon next weekend. I am so pumped! Happy Monday, and hope you all have a good week!
Monday, July 12, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Meat...no thanks.
If I was having cravings... that would be helpful. Unfortunatly, only food aversions. This makes it difficult to eat! I also think it is why I haven't gained a pound yet. I am hungry a lot, but nothing sounds good!
When pregnant with Elizabeth, I didn't want meat either. However, it is even stronger this time. I feel like a vegetarian. I tried eating a burger Dan made and I got sick. No meat for me. One of my favorite new veggie meals is a chipotle burrito, with all the good stuff, and no chicken. My other crutch is Ego waffles. I have had 24 in the last week!! Haha. I only have 2 left so I am going to have to get to the store so I have some food to eat!
I went to watch my Mankato summer team play last night. This is the first time I haven't played summer soccer since I was 5! Isn't that crazy?? It made me miss it. It was so good to see everyone, and share some happy news finally, and explain why I am not playing this summer. I am not gonna lie though, the more peole find out, the scarier it makes this. The idea of going through what we went through again is horrible.
I spent the day at my parents today. Let the dogs run around and hung out with Mom, Dad, and Faith. I decided to go into the pool with Faith, and Kolby and Maia didn't like it. They are such momma's girls... and Kolby loves water. I wasn't worried about Maia jumping in, but Kolby... yes. When I was least expecting it, Kolby jumped from the ground, up and over the side of the pool into the pool! What a stinker! In the process of trying to get her out, she scratched my face and mouth. So apparently I can't go swimming when she is over there!
Hopefully I can find something to eat for dinner tonight....
When pregnant with Elizabeth, I didn't want meat either. However, it is even stronger this time. I feel like a vegetarian. I tried eating a burger Dan made and I got sick. No meat for me. One of my favorite new veggie meals is a chipotle burrito, with all the good stuff, and no chicken. My other crutch is Ego waffles. I have had 24 in the last week!! Haha. I only have 2 left so I am going to have to get to the store so I have some food to eat!
I went to watch my Mankato summer team play last night. This is the first time I haven't played summer soccer since I was 5! Isn't that crazy?? It made me miss it. It was so good to see everyone, and share some happy news finally, and explain why I am not playing this summer. I am not gonna lie though, the more peole find out, the scarier it makes this. The idea of going through what we went through again is horrible.
I spent the day at my parents today. Let the dogs run around and hung out with Mom, Dad, and Faith. I decided to go into the pool with Faith, and Kolby and Maia didn't like it. They are such momma's girls... and Kolby loves water. I wasn't worried about Maia jumping in, but Kolby... yes. When I was least expecting it, Kolby jumped from the ground, up and over the side of the pool into the pool! What a stinker! In the process of trying to get her out, she scratched my face and mouth. So apparently I can't go swimming when she is over there!
Hopefully I can find something to eat for dinner tonight....
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
NT Scan Reults!!
Yay for good news!! Mary Ann, our genetic counselor, just called me with the results of our NT scan. They look at hormones in my blood as well as babys measurement and give me odds of our baby having Down Syndrome and Trisomny 18. Just using my age alone, odds are 1:700... so low. Adding the measurements and blood work, babys odds are 1:6400 for Down Syndrome and 1:10,000 for Trisomny 18!!! I called Dan SOBBING after I got off the phone, and he was scared for a second... but I told him right away I have good news!! I am beginning to actually think that we are going to really have a baby in january. It is so hard to explain what this feels like.... I haven't been this happy in a really long time.
Just had to update!!!
Just had to update!!!
Friday, July 2, 2010
Nervous and Butterflies.... So Strange
As I begin to write this post, my stomach just flipped and I have butterflies. It is a very strange feeling. Why? Because I am nervous to officially put it out there that.... we are expecting again. Wow. I feel like once this is published, it is really official. We have kept it pretty secret for the last 11 weeks... besides our immediate family. I have so wanted to blog about my feelings over the last couple of months, but didn't want to make it that public. I have a feeling this is going to be a long post, so just bare with me! :)
Let me begin by saying we found out on my mom's birthday, May 8th. Instead of being instantly excited, I called my mom sobbing, convinced already something wasn't right. I had taken tests for the previous week, all were negative, now a positive one... I was so scared. I finally calmed down... for a while. I called the Drs office on that Monday and got my 1st appt scheduled.
Jumping to my first appt, I am going to the Perinatal Clinc at United Hospital this pregnancy. You need to be considered high risk, or already a patient by referral to go there. This is where I was referred to when we lost Elizabeth, and they welcomed me back with open arms. I am so thrilled, because they are so understanding and are watching me so closely. My first appt I was about 7.5 weeks. We had an u/s and they gave me my official due date of Jan 19, 2011. Elizabeth was born Jan 16... so strange how close this will be, and what a weird time of year it will be. Anyway, of course my biggest fear was that the baby would not have a heartbeat, or baby would be developing outside my uterus. I was scared to death. I was so relieved to see not only my baby, but babys heartbeat at a strong 148 bpm! I couldn't believe it, and tears of joy came. We even got to hear it! :) We then went on to meet with the doctor and nurse to go over ALL my medical history, got my blood drawn... and ask any and all questions I had. My biggest concern was if I am for some reason pre-disposed to having these bands break and harm my baby. The Dr. ASSURED me it was a complete freak thing, and should not happen again. He is not worried about it, but said he knows I am, and they will do whatvever they need to do to help ease my nerves. Wow. What a great place to be. After a long morning, and a bit relieved, we were on our way.
After the appt, the next couple of weeks were pretty blah... which was good. Nausea and morning sickness kicked in full force right before we left for San Diego... OF COURSE! So that was no fun. It is ALL DAY sickness this time around, but so worth it if it means i will be holding a healthy little baby in 6 months!
So symptoms during the first tri: Nausea/sickness, seriously, rediculously huge boobs... haha, food aversions (meat again), no cravings.... and that is pretty much it. I haven't been super tired, which has been nice...but also not working so that helps I think too.
So, my 2nd appt was on June 30, this last Wednesday. We went in for our NT scan... which is a 1st trimester screen for chromosomal abnormalitles such as down syndrome and trisomy 18. They measure the nuchal fold-- the amt of liquid in it-- in an ultrasound, and draw my blood. There were no red flags on the ultrasound, but we still are waiting for our blood results (supposed to have by Tues.). I am definitly anxious waiting on those, but am trying to remind myself that despite our past, statistics are with us... but prayers are always appreciated! Needless to say, I was scared to death. I got no sleep Tuesday night, having flashbacks on my ultrasound with Elizabeth when we found out everything... horrible. Thank goodness we saw baby and babys heartbeat.... 176 bpm this time! Just SO anxious for the blood results...
I just can't stress enough how much we cannot take healthy children for granted. It is such a blessing. What an amazing gift God has given us. I continue to have faith that God will bless Dan and I with a beautiful healthy baby.
Let me begin by saying we found out on my mom's birthday, May 8th. Instead of being instantly excited, I called my mom sobbing, convinced already something wasn't right. I had taken tests for the previous week, all were negative, now a positive one... I was so scared. I finally calmed down... for a while. I called the Drs office on that Monday and got my 1st appt scheduled.
Jumping to my first appt, I am going to the Perinatal Clinc at United Hospital this pregnancy. You need to be considered high risk, or already a patient by referral to go there. This is where I was referred to when we lost Elizabeth, and they welcomed me back with open arms. I am so thrilled, because they are so understanding and are watching me so closely. My first appt I was about 7.5 weeks. We had an u/s and they gave me my official due date of Jan 19, 2011. Elizabeth was born Jan 16... so strange how close this will be, and what a weird time of year it will be. Anyway, of course my biggest fear was that the baby would not have a heartbeat, or baby would be developing outside my uterus. I was scared to death. I was so relieved to see not only my baby, but babys heartbeat at a strong 148 bpm! I couldn't believe it, and tears of joy came. We even got to hear it! :) We then went on to meet with the doctor and nurse to go over ALL my medical history, got my blood drawn... and ask any and all questions I had. My biggest concern was if I am for some reason pre-disposed to having these bands break and harm my baby. The Dr. ASSURED me it was a complete freak thing, and should not happen again. He is not worried about it, but said he knows I am, and they will do whatvever they need to do to help ease my nerves. Wow. What a great place to be. After a long morning, and a bit relieved, we were on our way.
After the appt, the next couple of weeks were pretty blah... which was good. Nausea and morning sickness kicked in full force right before we left for San Diego... OF COURSE! So that was no fun. It is ALL DAY sickness this time around, but so worth it if it means i will be holding a healthy little baby in 6 months!
So symptoms during the first tri: Nausea/sickness, seriously, rediculously huge boobs... haha, food aversions (meat again), no cravings.... and that is pretty much it. I haven't been super tired, which has been nice...but also not working so that helps I think too.
So, my 2nd appt was on June 30, this last Wednesday. We went in for our NT scan... which is a 1st trimester screen for chromosomal abnormalitles such as down syndrome and trisomy 18. They measure the nuchal fold-- the amt of liquid in it-- in an ultrasound, and draw my blood. There were no red flags on the ultrasound, but we still are waiting for our blood results (supposed to have by Tues.). I am definitly anxious waiting on those, but am trying to remind myself that despite our past, statistics are with us... but prayers are always appreciated! Needless to say, I was scared to death. I got no sleep Tuesday night, having flashbacks on my ultrasound with Elizabeth when we found out everything... horrible. Thank goodness we saw baby and babys heartbeat.... 176 bpm this time! Just SO anxious for the blood results...
I just can't stress enough how much we cannot take healthy children for granted. It is such a blessing. What an amazing gift God has given us. I continue to have faith that God will bless Dan and I with a beautiful healthy baby.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Just an Update
Well, it has been a while since I have posted. Not much really to update on. I have been enjoying my summer so far... getting things done and catching up with friends. Unfortunatly I should be getting more done around the house... so hopefully I pick up with that soon. I have no excuse being home all day! I just have had no motivation.
Dan and I had a lot of fun on our trip to San Diego. Although, me and my anxiety had to deal with an earthquake. Something at the time I had no interest in experiencing. Now it is cool to know I have been through one. We had a lot of fun, despite me being kind of sick while being out there. I can't wait for Dan to be done with school so we can travel more often.
I just booked a trip to Chicago July 17-20. I haven't been out there since my sister moved, so I will be looking forward to that! I have never flown alone though, so of course I will be nervous about the flying part.
Lets see...I think that is pretty much it. Looking forward to a few months off :)
Dan and I had a lot of fun on our trip to San Diego. Although, me and my anxiety had to deal with an earthquake. Something at the time I had no interest in experiencing. Now it is cool to know I have been through one. We had a lot of fun, despite me being kind of sick while being out there. I can't wait for Dan to be done with school so we can travel more often.
I just booked a trip to Chicago July 17-20. I haven't been out there since my sister moved, so I will be looking forward to that! I have never flown alone though, so of course I will be nervous about the flying part.
Lets see...I think that is pretty much it. Looking forward to a few months off :)
Monday, May 31, 2010
Less than a week
Here is myh ticker. This is how far I should be today. I noramlly delete this everytime I log in...
My due date is in less that a week. Friends from facebook are having babies that were due at the same time as me. I log in and see postings and pictures, and can't help but hope that we have that soon. I have to think positive, and I do... but with that is just a girl that is so scared. Not many people understand, they keep telling me to stay positive, don't think like that, but when your whole world comes crashing down in an instant, not having any idea anything is wrong, you know it is possible, and impossible to not think about that. Not quite sure what this week will be like... I am sure difficult, but hopeful as well.
8 days left of school! Then dan and I will make our way to San Diego!!! I wish we had more time there, but it will be fun nonetheless... Everyone always asks me "What is your plan this summer?" How am I suppose to answer that? I was planning on caring for a baby, and now since that fell through I am going to sit and do nothing? Why is it that teachers get asked that question, like if we aren't working,we are lazy or something. No, I am not coaching this summer and definitly ok with that. No, I am not playing soccer for the first time since I was 5, and ok with that too. I will be spending some time on me, and I am more than ok with that! I have some grad school stuff I hope to attempt and finish... but other that that not much planned, and I am so excited for that! This is the first summer in so long I haven't had a million things going on.
Today Dan and I are heading out to White Bear Lake for the day. Hopefully the beautiful weather lasts all day! Happy Memorial Day!
My due date is in less that a week. Friends from facebook are having babies that were due at the same time as me. I log in and see postings and pictures, and can't help but hope that we have that soon. I have to think positive, and I do... but with that is just a girl that is so scared. Not many people understand, they keep telling me to stay positive, don't think like that, but when your whole world comes crashing down in an instant, not having any idea anything is wrong, you know it is possible, and impossible to not think about that. Not quite sure what this week will be like... I am sure difficult, but hopeful as well.8 days left of school! Then dan and I will make our way to San Diego!!! I wish we had more time there, but it will be fun nonetheless... Everyone always asks me "What is your plan this summer?" How am I suppose to answer that? I was planning on caring for a baby, and now since that fell through I am going to sit and do nothing? Why is it that teachers get asked that question, like if we aren't working,we are lazy or something. No, I am not coaching this summer and definitly ok with that. No, I am not playing soccer for the first time since I was 5, and ok with that too. I will be spending some time on me, and I am more than ok with that! I have some grad school stuff I hope to attempt and finish... but other that that not much planned, and I am so excited for that! This is the first summer in so long I haven't had a million things going on.
Today Dan and I are heading out to White Bear Lake for the day. Hopefully the beautiful weather lasts all day! Happy Memorial Day!
Monday, May 10, 2010
Monday, Monday
Mother's Day. It was not as tough as I had imagined it to be. Of course I get upset thinking about how close we would be to having our baby, but it was overall a good day. Dan and I went to the Twins game with Suzie, Steve, and his boys. Chris was in town and came too so that was good to see him. After the game, Shannon and Nick came over and hung out for a while. That was great. It was so nice to hang out with my sis for a while... and Nick made spinach artichoke dip. It was so good. We layed on the couch and watched The Blind Side.
Tonight I am meeting Garon for dinner at the Green Mill. I am so excited to eat (as I sit here and try not to eat because I am SO HUNGRY!) as well as see her. Dan doesn't have class tonight since it is finals week so he will be home right after work. Yay!
This weekend, Dan will be at the cabin for opener and I will be up at Wolf Ridge with a group of kids from school. I am so excited, since I had always wanted to go as a student and never did. I am finally going! Keeping my fingers crossed for good weather.
Well, nothing too sappy or juicy today. I am getting kind of bored with this season of DWTS. You know the final 2 are going to be Nicole and Evan, and the train wrecks are gone, so now it is kind of boring. I am excited for Castle tonight!!! Great show. Thats it for now. Hope everyone has a good week.
Tonight I am meeting Garon for dinner at the Green Mill. I am so excited to eat (as I sit here and try not to eat because I am SO HUNGRY!) as well as see her. Dan doesn't have class tonight since it is finals week so he will be home right after work. Yay!
This weekend, Dan will be at the cabin for opener and I will be up at Wolf Ridge with a group of kids from school. I am so excited, since I had always wanted to go as a student and never did. I am finally going! Keeping my fingers crossed for good weather.
Well, nothing too sappy or juicy today. I am getting kind of bored with this season of DWTS. You know the final 2 are going to be Nicole and Evan, and the train wrecks are gone, so now it is kind of boring. I am excited for Castle tonight!!! Great show. Thats it for now. Hope everyone has a good week.
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