Nervous and Butterflies.... So Strange

As I begin to write this post, my stomach just flipped and I have butterflies. It is a very strange feeling. Why? Because I am nervous to officially put it out there that.... we are expecting again. Wow. I feel like once this is published, it is really official. We have kept it pretty secret for the last 11 weeks... besides our immediate family. I have so wanted to blog about my feelings over the last couple of months, but didn't want to make it that public. I have a feeling this is going to be a long post, so just bare with me! :)

Let me begin by saying we found out on my mom's birthday, May 8th. Instead of being instantly excited, I called my mom sobbing, convinced already something wasn't right. I had taken tests for the previous week, all were negative, now a positive one... I was so scared. I finally calmed down... for a while. I called the Drs office on that Monday and got my 1st appt scheduled.

Jumping to my first appt, I am going to the Perinatal Clinc at United Hospital this pregnancy. You need to be considered high risk, or already a patient by referral to go there. This is where I was referred to when we lost Elizabeth, and they welcomed me back with open arms. I am so thrilled, because they are so understanding and are watching me so closely. My first appt I was about 7.5 weeks. We had an u/s and they gave me my official due date of Jan 19, 2011. Elizabeth was born Jan 16... so strange how close this will be, and what a weird time of year it will be. Anyway, of course my biggest fear was that the baby would not have a heartbeat, or baby would be developing outside my uterus. I was scared to death. I was so relieved to see not only my baby, but babys heartbeat at a strong 148 bpm! I couldn't believe it, and tears of joy came. We even got to hear it! :) We then went on to meet with the doctor and nurse to go over ALL my medical history, got my blood drawn... and ask any and all questions I had. My biggest concern was if I am for some reason pre-disposed to having these bands break and harm my baby. The Dr. ASSURED me it was a complete freak thing, and should not happen again. He is not worried about it, but said he knows I am, and they will do whatvever they need to do to help ease my nerves. Wow. What a great place to be. After a long morning, and a bit relieved, we were on our way.

After the appt, the next couple of weeks were pretty blah... which was good. Nausea and morning sickness kicked in full force right before we left for San Diego... OF COURSE! So that was no fun. It is ALL DAY sickness this time around, but so worth it if it means i will be holding a healthy little baby in 6 months!

So symptoms during the first tri: Nausea/sickness, seriously, rediculously huge boobs... haha, food aversions (meat again), no cravings.... and that is pretty much it. I haven't been super tired, which has been nice...but also not working so that helps I think too.

So, my 2nd appt was on June 30, this last Wednesday. We went in for our NT scan... which is a 1st trimester screen for chromosomal abnormalitles such as down syndrome and trisomy 18. They measure the nuchal fold-- the amt of liquid in it-- in an ultrasound, and draw my blood. There were no red flags on the ultrasound, but we still are waiting for our blood results (supposed to have by Tues.). I am definitly anxious waiting on those, but am trying to remind myself that despite our past, statistics are with us... but prayers are always appreciated! Needless to say, I was scared to death. I got no sleep Tuesday night, having flashbacks on my ultrasound with Elizabeth when we found out everything... horrible. Thank goodness we saw baby and babys heartbeat.... 176 bpm this time! Just SO anxious for the blood results...

I just can't stress enough how much we cannot take healthy children for granted. It is such a blessing. What an amazing gift God has given us. I continue to have faith that God will bless Dan and I with a beautiful healthy baby.