October

Brynn is talking up a storm. Anything I tell her to say, she repeats. She is asking "what's that?" To anything she doesn't know. Just today she pointed to my eye brow and asked me what it was. When I told her, she repeated it. She is so inquisitive and I know I'm biased, but she is so smart. She is great at her puzzles... And does them by herself, and also loves her shape sort things... Where you have to fit the heart through the heart hole... Circle in circle. There is an app on the iPad where she can do that, and she loves it.

Still... My favorite things she says are : lovey, ready, thank you, coloring ( it sounds like coloringing). She is super easy to communicate with now, too since she is so verbal. I almost always know what she wants/ needs. She is a bit of a drama queen :). But usually is pretty good when I tell her No. I feel like I've had to do less timeouts.

Lets see... She is really loving her baby lately. Bringing it all over. She crawled out of her pack n play at the cabin this weekend... Which I have a feeling will now be a struggle, and her crib isn't far behind. I think the key is making sure she is really tired when she goes down, otherwise she will get bored and figure it out :). This morning when I got her from bed she had taken her pj bottoms off, as well as her diaper. Luckily there was no mess.

I am leaving Brynn with Dan for the first time for the weekend... I'm going to be going out to WI for my roommate from colleges baby shower. I'm excited and nervous. I hope I'm not too anxious while I'm gone and enjoy my time for myself. I'm sure going to miss her. I hate leaving her during the day when I need to go to the store on the weekend... I'm sure it'll be fine. I am gonna try to get him at least to Skype with me...we will see.

Soccer has been over for a couple of weeks, so I am enjoying having more time with Brynn. The school year is just going great. I'm having a great year. Grad school is done... And now I can have fun doing crafty things, and hopefully start painting the house soon. I'm starting to lose my mind with the white walls and wall paper. Yuk.

Otherwise just enjoying the decent weather while I can!

**Warning** Venting Blog Entry

Ok. I need to vent. I typically dont share political views via the internet... But There are 2 things that will be on the Minnesota Ballot this November, they are looked at as "party issues,". and in my opinion... They shouldn't be.

The first is voter ID amendment. Who in their right mind would be against this and what in the world would be a reason to be? There are SO many false facts out there. Truth is, ANYONE, legal to this country, a MN resident, and not a felon, will be able to get an ID if they don't have one already, at no cost. Therefore, the argument that people who are poor or elderly can't vote... Based on what facts? In the last election... I could have voted in THREE places: under my maiden name by my parents house, my mom said my name was still listed under hers. In Rosemount, which was where I voted, and in Inver Grove Heights, because Dan and I were living at his dads. What is wrong with this picture?? A LOT. This just frustrates the heck out of me.

Next, the marriage amendment. Why is this a party issue, too? Why are supposed "republicans" against this? It is completely against everything they stand for... Limited government and freedom. Anyone close to me knows I consider myself a conservative, vote typically (not always) republican. I am 100% against this amendment. Any person should have the freedom to marry who they want. It has no affect on my life at all. It just once again seems like common sense. Again, someone doesn't have to agree with the lifestyle... But who are you to tell someone they can't get married??

Why have both these issues come down to democrats vs. republicans?? If these two very important questions were being presented to the public in a fair and neutral manner, maybe people wouldn't look at them with jaded eyes, just because a certain party is affiliated with it.

In my opinion, and again, it is just my opinion, but in my opinion, the choice is just common sense for both these questions we will see on the ballot come November. Yes voter ID should be required, and No, marriage shouldn't be limited to just a man and a woman.

Ok. Vent over.

Pre-School Jitters

Tonight marks my 24th night before the first day of school. Can you believe that? 24 straight years of going to school... 7 of which have been teaching... The rest of me as a student. It's a different feeling as a teacher. But with 6 years under my belt, I still get anxious nervous. Good nervous... But still a little anxious. I am not so anxious about school and the kids. It is trying to keep up with house chores, dinner, and keeping up with my almost 20 month old! You see, if I am so tired I want a bowl of cereal for dinner, that is fine. But Brynn, I need to do better. That is the part where the anxiety comes in. Laundry, cleaning, etc. I know it will get better too when soccer is over.

On a side note... I got some awesome new nail polish I am digging. It is a mint color. I'm in love with it.

Ok, so Brynn has cut 2 teeth in the last week. Her other bottom molar, and then one of her pointy teeth. She's been kind of cranky and not eating well, but at least sleeping ok.

Capstone is printed and officially done. I plan and bringing it to Hamline this week and hopefully making my Sept. 15 deadline. Yay!

Hope all my teacher friends have a great first day tomorrow! :)

I Was Called Miss!

Ok... I don't know why this was so exciting to me, but yesterday while checking out at Rainbow the cashier called me miss! I feel like I get called ma'am all the time... and it makes me feel old. I then wonder if I look old enough to be a ma'am... and what constitues someone choosing to call me ma'am or miss? I know... way too much thought into it. However, it made my day hearing her call me miss :)

Summer has flown by I don't have much of a baby left anymore... she is such a little toddler. She has really started talking a lot. When she opens her mouth to say something, most of the time we know what she is saying or wants. It helps a lot with the communication piece. She knows a lot of her animal sounds, too... dogs, cats, ducks (which she loves), and monkeys. She has enjoyed playing with her big duplos, which has been nice. She still loves Mickey Mouse, but Elmo is a close second. When we see babies at the store, she will point to them and say baby. I would say that has been the most exciting thing over the last month. She is really beginning to make connections to things. She will see babies, airplanes, water on TV, and point to them and say the word.

So my last post about being clueless... fortunately that didn't last long and it was due to teething molars! Brynn's molar popped through and then crying at night stopped. She has been a lot better.

Soccer started last week... it has been going really well. I am more worried about the adjustment when I am back at work and coaching and Brynn will have such long days away from me. It really is only for September though so that will not be too bad.

Capstone is just about complete. I am just waiting on the final ok so I can type up my table of contents and print. I can't wait until it is all said and done. Then I wont feel guilty spending my time doing things around the house.

Speaking of house... we are still enjoying our home so much. We really like Cottage Grove and the convenience of everything. The dogs are getting more used to having a yard, and Brynn loves being able to run around outside, too.

Brynn is getting pretty good at dribbling the soccer ball. I got some video of it but it also got Maia and Kolby being obnoxious... so once I edit it I will have to post it. Otherwise... here are some pics from the last month.

Brynn at the beach on the St. Croix

Going From Confident to Clueless...

Well, what a week it has been. Temperatures reaching 100 degrees, feeling even hotter with humidity. It has been a long last 10 days. The AC has been running non stop, and it has been awfully difficult with a 17 month old that loves being outside. Finally, last night the heat broke, and it felt amazing not having that humidity today.

So, the title of my blog post is how I have felt over the last week or so. I transitioned Brynn from 2 naps a day to 1, and that went well. She has been going down every day about 12-12:30 and sleeping about 2 hours. Now, I don't know if it is coincidence... I am assuming so, but her bedtime has been an absolute disaster. Not only that, she has been so clingy. I can't do anything without her. if I set her down even to try and make her breakfast, she is huggung my legs whining "up, up." This is where I feel so helpless. Do I pick her up? It is so innocent but yet I am rewarding what she wants. Why does she want me to pick her up? Just for attention? Because her mouth hurts from teething? Hence where the clueless feeling comes in.... I just feel like all day long I have been battling her.

Bedtime now has become a battle. She has always been amazing at going to bed. A self soother. I could put her down right after reading her book, say nigh nigh, she would say it as I walked out. I would shut her door, and that would be that. Even though it has only been a few nights, it feels like that was an eternity ago. She clings to my neck when I try putting her in bed yelling "no! no! no!" I then try to rock her and she fights that for a while... and then finally cuddles into my chest. When she is finally calmed down, I lay her in her crib, and then she ususally whines and I rub her back a little bit until she is out. Then I have to sneak out of the room trying not to make the floor squeak, and hoping she stays asleep. I feel like I am walking on pins and needles with her, and I hate this feeling. I love her so so much, and just feel like I have no idea what I am doing, if something is wrong with her, or if what I am doing is making it worse. So, I feel as though I am going from a place where I felt so confident in my parenting, to feeling clueless again. I am hoping that is normal?? And that throughout raising her I will go through periods of time where things come easy and I feel confident, and then times will be tougher and I will feel clueless. I am just a person who likes being in control, and the fact that I feel as though I am not in control of this, makes it even harder. I am really struggling.

Brynnie has a nice scratch and bump on her forehead and a huge scratch on her knee... she loves to be outside and is a daredevil. I am hoping they heal by next Saturday, we are having pictures done by Kevin. Otherwise, I hope he can do some awesome photoshopping. I can't wait to have her pics taken, we haven't had any prof pics taken (besides candids at her birthday party) since she was 6 months old. I hope the weather is nice, and she is a little more herself.

We celebrated my Grandma's 90th birthday on June 30. It was a lot of fun. So many friends and family came to celebrate. It was so very hot, but it was so nice to see everyone.

We also have a completed fence now! It looks really nice, it turned out great. It has been such a treat to be able to let the dogs run around. You can tell they aren't used to it though... they definitely are dogs that like to be around me and dan. They really only like being out there if we go out with them. Here is a picture of the aftermath of Kolby playing fetch... Brynn wasn't too sure what to think.

We had a great 4th of July. We went over to Dan's Aunt and Uncle's on White Bear and had a lot of fun. With the heat and humidity, the lake water was so warm. We went swimming and even got to go on the jet ski. I even took Brynn for a little ride. We had good food, drinks, and of course good company. Dan's grandma and grandpa were in town from SD as well, so it was good to see them. On top of all that, Suter and Parise signed with the Wild! It still seems sureal to me. I am SO excited for this season. Now let's hope they both stay healthy...

Here is Brynn and Dan's cousin Berit :)

Here is Brynnie and Berit and Dan's cousin Sonja!

Brynn has her 18 month appt. on Wednesday, shots are not going to help with her attitude she has had lately. However, I am hoping the doc has some answers for me about what has been going on with her. Otherwise, this week not a whole lot else is going on. We just plan on enjoying the much nicer weather, and hopefully Brynn will be back to herself. My gut tells me it is teething... she has yet to get any molars or eye teeth, and she has been drooling and chomping on things a lot lately. She still only has her 8 teeth... but like I said, hope the doc has some answers. I will post after her appt with her stats :)

Love, Love, Love Having a House!

I must say... it was worth the wait. I am so in love with our home. I know my love is just going to grow and grow as we make it our own. I have so many plans an ideas, now we just need to find the time and help to do them! Especially help... because it is impossible to paint with Brynnie running around :) Of course my #1 goal this summer is finishing my capstone, and I am getting there! I can't wait to be done and be done with school.


I have already been enjoying my time with Brynn. It is hard not to go shoppping and spend money while being at home... and Dan I know doesn't like that :) I am trying to be good though.

Brynn has enjoyed the yard a lot. She loves swimming in her pool, running through the flowers, spalshing her hands in the bird bath (gross). We get our fence put in next week and that will be so nice, too!

On another note... I am LOVING Cottage Grove and our location. Seriously. We are within walking distance to Kingston Park, which is soccer fields and a playground. Our neighborhood just is friendly and I love walking around it. We are super close to Target :) Dan doesn't like that. LOVE our Rainbow... I am just really loving it.




Brynn is just talking so much! I will try and attempt all of what she is saying, but I am sure I will forget some. Her favorite number is nine. When she sees letters or numbers, she always points and says "Nine, Two, Nine." Love it. I always ask her if she is ready... and she responds with "Ready!" She sings 2 songs... twinkle twinkle (she only sings the "up above the" line) and a commercial song for Dreamlites... haha it is so funny. It was on Sprout a lot and she LOVES the song, so we sing it. She says "Uh Oh," "All Done" when she is done eating, "Ouch," "Please,"-- sometimes she just signs it though. She signs more and please. She says "Mai-Mai"... she sees her and says it, but now she calls Kolby Mai-Mai too :) She says "nose", "eye," "Cheese," (when she sees the camera-- I think that is thanks to Liam :) "Nigh Nigh", of course "momma and dada" She loves to say the word "exercise"... she says it every time we read The Going to Bed Book by Sandra Boynton. She also love to say "purple" when we read one of her books of colors. It is funny what she enjoys saying. She also says "Chalk" (Which sounds like a not so appropriate word when she says it) and "walk"... she also says "Side" (for outside). She will say "Elmo" when she sees Elmo. She loves her baths, so if I ask her if she wants to take a bath... she yells "Bath!" and runs to the tub. She also says "Brush my teeth"... when I ask her if she wants to brush her teeth. She loves brushing, and I hope that continues! She also says "stuck" if she cant do something. I am sure I am missing some, but those are the ones she says most often. It is so fun how her language is just exploding!

Just this week I have been able to ask her to go get things! I will tell her to go get her juice or milk, and she will run to get her cup. She is really understanding a lot of what we are saying to her.

Tonight we are planning on heading to the Kaposia Days parade. It will be her first, and I hope she enjoys it! As far as the rest of the weekend, we have to trim our bushes for the fence installation, and some other things we need to get done around the house. As we begin to update the house, I will be posting pics. I wanted to post some of Brynn today, but I am carless because Dan is getting his fixed, and he has mine which is where my camera is:) Pics will have to wait! I will try to update sooner.

Feeling so blessed and content, and loving life right now :)

LOTS of Updates

Ok... having a toddler, working full time, getting ready to move = not a lot of updates on the blog. The toddler is making it probably the hardest-- especially a toddler that doesn't stop moving! Brynnie is on the go and would live outside if I would let her. She is climbing all over everything and anything, and also trying to jump off whatever it is she is climbing on top of. She is saying new things each day, and surprises us with what she understands. She calls all crayons/ markers/ etc. chalk... because we use chalk a lot outside. We ask her if she is ready for her bath and she says "bath?!" and will run to the tub when we are down stairs. She says "Mai Mai" for Maia since we call her that... but hasn't figured out that isn't what you call Kolby :) She is just so much fun. I do wish she would learn to stop throwing her food on the floor. This is driving me nuts. We will keep working on it, but let's just say there has been a lot of "no" being said in our house lately.

I am getting ready to be done with school. Last day with the kiddos is tomorrow. It has been a good year, and a pretty easy transition to working with a child. I think the fact that Kelsey and Kevin have been so good with Brynn, and Brynn loving it there has helped a lot. However, I am SO looking forward to the next few months!!

Besides the end of the school year approaching... of course most of you know we bought a new home and we are moving in this Saturday! This has been keeping us busy... trying to get some things done-- painted-- and boxes hauled. I am SO excited, but also know we will have a never ending wish and to do list once we are in the house. Oh well... it is so worth it and I can't wait to be in there, have the fence in, and be able to relax in the backyard with the dogs running around!

Brynn is what I consider a pretty good eater. She finally has eaten banana, but definitely not a big fruit eater. She still loves her meat. She also loves black beans. She is still signing more and please a lot when she wants things... and she does it mainly for food, but will for other things, too. I will ask her to say please when she wants something and she will usually sign it for me. Thanks Kels! :)

Now that summer is just about here, I will be better about updating. On top of moving and getting settled, and having brynnie, my capstone has been taking up a lot of time-- as it will continue to this summer. Boy, I can't wait until that is done. Anyway, that's about all I have for now. I am exhausted and plan on heading to bed very shortly :)

House and talking!

First of all... Now that I know what it feels like when you feel movement from a baby... I have phantom kicks ALL the time. how am I supposed to know the real thing when the time comes to be pregnant again?? Just a thought I had since I feel it and it freaks me out since there is definitely no baby in there...So weird.

Anyway.. I have a chit chatter on my hands! Her vocab is just bursting, it is crazy. She understands so much. When I ask her if she's hungry and wants dinner, she runs to the gate at the stairs to go up. Last night I asked her if she wanted a bath... And she ran over to the bathroom. She is even starting to count! Last night in her bath, I swore she grabbed the foam 9 and said "nine!". I figured it was coincidence. Brynnie does love books. We read counting books, and count a lot... Well Kelsey today heard it as well... Was counting 1-4, and 8,9,10. 9 being her favorite to say. Its not just me who heard it. She also says up as she is clawing at my legs so I hold her. It is just so crazy! I love it.

Onto the house. We got it! We were supposed to have our inspection today, but it got cancelled and rescheduled for Thursday. Just can't wait, but it will best hard once we move in, andi am going to want to have everything done and just decorate! I am so excited to have our own space and yard... And make it our own.

Happy Spring Break!

Boy... A lot has changed about Brynn since I last posted. We had her 15 month check up on Friday... Her stats are: 32.5 inches (98th%) 22.13 lbs (50th%). Her head is in the 80th % so definitely a Murphy head. She is following a nice curve, and same appx. percentile since she was born. She is right where she needs to be developmentally.

This last week was my spring break. I had one class of tests to grade, and didn't even touch them... I had way too much fun with Brynn. Last Friday, we all headed up to Duluth/ Eveleth for the weekend. We visited Dans grandma all day Saturday, and bummed around Duluth on Sunday. Monday I had. Dr. Appt, and we just hung out at home. Tuesday we went swimming with Cassie and Haylee, and her sister Carlie with the kids she nannies. It was so fun. However, Brynn is terrible at restaurants right now. Me and Cass tried going out to lunch, and it was a disaster. I had to bring my lunch home. Yikes. Wednesday Brynn and I went to the zoo. It was so nice out, and Brynn had a good time. Thursday I did some cleaning, some grocery shopping, and we hung out here. Friday Brynn had her dr appt, which included two shots, so she slept a lot, and got pretty cranky. Ever since the dr. She has had a runny nose and hasn't been sleeping so great at night. Saturday Dan, me , and Brynn just hung around here. I met my girlfriends in the morning for brunch, but other than that we had a low key day. Today for Easter, dans mom and brother came over for brunch which was nice. We then also went to my grandmas in the afternoon. We then took the pups and Brynn for a walk when we got home. I'm exhausted. Having this week off makes me that more excited for summer!

Many of you know that me and Dan have been house hunting. We had found a home in Woodbury we loved, put an offer on it, a few times, and ended up not getting it. It sucks, but we are just going to keep looking. We are actually going to go look at a house I really like tomorrow... It needs a lot more cosmetic updates, but much more in our price range, has great curb appeal, and what looks like a nice yard. We will see! I love the idea of making our house ours... But with my capstone hanging over my head, it stresses me out. I NEED to get that done, and all I will want to do is work on the house.

As far as Brynns new accomplishments, she is starting to talk so much! I can't believe what she has done even in the last week. She sings "up above the" in twinkle twinkle little star. She says: hot, all done, uh-oh, when I say ouch, she says ouch :), what's that, she waves hi and bye bye, she gives kisses and hugs when we ask her too.... And even when we don't :). She will also randomly repeat words when we ask her to say something. A couple of her favorites are purple and apple. I swear tonight, she was looking at her reflection while in the bath tub, and said "hi Brynnie". She LOVES books. She is always grabbing books, running and sitting on my lap, and asking me to read. She also loves shoes... She brings her pretty ones over to me to put on her. She is also very much a dare devil. She loves jumping off things, climbing on top of things, and just climbing in general. I really need to keep a good eye on her.

As far as food goes.... She's funny because she still isn't a huge fan of fruit! She does still love her meat. She like some veggies, like broccoli. She loves her milk. We keep trying new things with her so hopefully she will eat more fruit.

Well, back to work and reality tomorrow. I am that much more ready for summer after having a week off. Only a couple of months left. It sounds like this week is going to be quite a bit cooler... We have been so spoiled. Hopefully we will have our house soon! :)

Bring on Spring!

I need, make that I MUST get better with blogging while I am working. The fact that Brynn just hangs on me when she is awake makes it more difficult to have any time for me. Then when she is sleeping, I try to get as much cleaning/ laundry/ facebooking :) in as possible... I must fit blogging in there.

This winter has been terrible on colds/ being sick. I have another cold. Brynn had a couple days of throwing up. Thank goodness I get 12 sick days a year. I have gone through more than half of them, and I don't even want to use them for myself! We just had a follow up for her ears, and they looked good. I told Dr. Gobel I hope to not have to see her until Brynn is in for her 15 month check up in April.

So, what have the Babich's been up to. Well, for one, Brynn is surprising us every day with new things she is learning to do. She can sign "more"... and loves doing this when she wants chocolate or sweets :) She can say "x-box" thanks to Kevin :) She said cheese to me today. She says mama, dada, nigh nigh (night night). She gives kisses, blows kisses, waves bye-bye, points at the light when I ask her where it is. She knows who mickey mouse is and LOVES him. She especially loves the hot dog dance at the end of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. She also loves when I sing to her the theme song to Little Einsteins. Brynn loves to dance, clap her hands, pat her knees, loves to be chased, and just being silly. It is hard to believe how much she has changed in the last year... going from a blob to a little person. As much as it can be tough, her wanting constant attention from me when she sees me, it is a good feeling having the love finally reciprocated.

Brynn does not like fruits very much at all. I can't really even get her to eat veggies. I joke with Kevin and Kelsey that she wont want to eat anything this summer from me because they feed her so well for lunch! She loves cheese and meat. She also loves bread. Brynn loves milk and drinking from straws... all of her sippys have straws.

Brynn has been sleeping so well! 11-12 hours straight many nights. Every so often there will be a night where she wakes up once, but usually it is at like 9:30, and then will sleep until we need to wake her up to leave in the morning. It has been heavenly.

Tonight, Brynn kissed me on the forehead. I just about died! It was the best feeling ever. It was the first time she initiated kissing me-- I didn't even ask her to. I get teary eyed just thinking about it.

Dan and I have began our house hunt. I am going to look at what I think could be the perfect house for us on Sunday. It is in Inver Grove, great location, and I have driven by it twice already today to check it out. I will be seeing it Sunday afternoon, and if Brynn and I approve, Dan and I will go again next week. He is up north fishing this weekend which is why I am going at it alone.

I have been terrible with pictures because my camera batteries had been dead, and I couldn't find the charger. I finally found it and charged up the batteries so hopefully in the next week I can get some updated pics up.

As far as life for me goes, we just wrapped up the 2nd trimester at school. It is hard to believe we only have 1 left. I am looking forward to warmer weather and getting to play with Brynn outside this spring and summer. I can see how these winters get especially long for moms and dads with little ones at home. I am hoping we will be in our own home this summer. I will just keep praying that it all works out.

That is all I have for now... I promise, I will get some pics up soon.

Sick Baby = Testing Momma's Patience

Well, what a week we have had. Brynn got a nasty fever Tuesday night. It was up over 102 degrees. Needless to say, something wasn't right. I stayed home with her Wednesday. She slept well that night and during the day... but when she was awake boy was she cranky. Wednesday night she still had a fever, it would go down with tylenol, but kept coming back. We decided Dan would stay home with her Thursday and I would go to work. Wednesday night at like 2 am, Brynn woke up and she was burning up! I was SO freaked out because her temp again was up to about 103. Of course my mom was out of town and she helps with my sanity. We called Children's Hospital seeing what we should do. Just keep giving her tylenol, or bring her in?

We had to wait like 10 minutes for the Dr. to call us back. It felt like an eternity. I don't think I had ever been as worried about her health as I was Wednesday night. After answering a bunch of questions, they told us just to give her tylenol and based on her symptoms, we didn't need to bring her in at that point. On Thursday, I figured we better bring her in just to get checked out at the Dr. for my sanity to find out if there is something more going on. Dan brought her in and sure enough... DOUBLE ear infection. I would have not guessed that, because her typical cues that her ears are bothering her... she wasn't doing.

I styaed home with her Friday again, and Oh.My.Gosh. She was CRABBY. She cried to be held, I held her. She cried to then be put down, then she cried when she was put down. On top of that she has not been eating, so I worry about that. I had to run to Target to get some groceries for dinner during the day, and I tried carrying her in my Beco Carrier since she just wanted to be held.... well she didnt like that. So I put her in the cart... she didn't want that. Of course, she wanted to walk. Everyone warned me about wanting her to start walking, how it is so exciting but just you wait! Oh man. I can't even get her to sit in her stroller. I am hoping she gets better about it as walking isn't so cool to her.

I was exhausted at the end of the day, to say the least. I can't imagine dealing with a baby like this AND having another one, at that. It just tests my patience a lot, and really shows me what unconditional love is... because I love her so so much even when she is so cranky and not herself.

Then today she was ok this morning, but got cranky this evening again. Still not eating very well. But just wait, super Kevin will get her to eat tomorrow, and she will probably be an angel. Then she will come home to me and probably crab again. Oy. At least she is sleeping well at night. If I was also dealing with no sleep....

I am still nursing so made it well past my goal. I hadn't mentioned that and had been meaning to so I document it and don't forget! She is only nursing 2x a day, and that is even if she is interested. She really isn't a whole lot anymore... so I am sure it is a matter of time until she's completely weaned. It makes me sad, because that means she is growing up, not as dependant on me, and we wont get that cuddle time.

Brynn also has 8 teeth now. Her bottom eye teeth just popped through so she has the 4 on top and 4 on the bottom. I am pretty sure her molars might be on their way... and that may be adding to the crankiness over the last couple of days.

Dan's birthday is Wednesday so we will probably just do dinner here it sounds like. He wants homemande pizza. We did go out and celebrate his and my friend Cassie's birthday Saturday at Ichibans which was a lot of fun. Then Thursday we have a Wild game, and over the weekend Dan is going up north. I haven't had a weekend alone with Brynn is a long while... so hopefully I survive :)

Well... here is to the start of another week. Hopefully a week that I get my happy baby girl back.

Two Years.

I really don't have much to write about. I just want to dedicate my post tonight to Elizabeth. Two years ago we held our baby girl and said goodbye to her. It was something I never imagined being able to do... As well as something I never thought I would ever go through. We began some traditions to keep her memory alive which I am going to keep private, but just wanted to get out there I am thinking of our baby girl.

Happy Birthday Brynn!

I have a one year old daughter! Do you know how crazy that is to me? I feel like just yesterday my water broke, we were on our way to the hospital and we were pulling off the road at 6:30 am in the middle of a snow storm for Dan to use the bathroom at the Super America :o) You knew I just had to get that in there...

Brynn's birthday was Wednesday, the 11th. Dan and I had taken the day off to spend with her. We had a Wild game the night before. Unfortunatly, I think I got food poisoning from the chicken tenders and fries I ate there. I will NOT be eating those again. I ended up throwing up all day on Wednesday and wanting to be curled up in a ball in bed. Needless to say, the day did not go as planned. Brynn was happy and had a good day, but we didn't get to do everything we wanted to. I did pull myself together long enough to make it to the Children's Museum and she had so much fun there. As soon as we got home, I crawled into bed while Brynn napped, and I also went to bed that night at 7:30. Luckily I woke up the next morning and felt better, so I made it to work.

The weekend brought Brynnie's actual party. I spent all Saturday morning baking cupcakes from scratch. I made like 4 batches. I also made the frosting from scratch. It was a lot of work but they turned out so good.

Her party today went so well. She was a trooper. She was a lot overwhelemed by all the people... she kept walking to me and clinging to me, not wanting to put her down. It was sweet knowing she wanted me... but hard to try and mingle with her being like that. Once some people cleared out, she began to losen up a bit and play with the other kids. I have just a few pics for now that I will post. My friends Kevin and Kelsey (they are the ones who watch Brynn), Kevin took pics for me at the party so I don't have many until I get some from him :o) KJB Photography shout out!

I am so thankful for all of our family and friends that celebrated with us today. I know Brynn wont remember her special day, but I sure will for the rest of my life. Thanks to you all! :o)

These are pictures of Brynn the day of her actual birthday, 1.11, at the Children's Museum and then at our house.

Pictures from her Birthday Party!

Brynnie and her Auntie Shannon and Uncle Nick :)

In a Funk-- Emotional.

I don't know what is going on. I have not been anxious lately, but really emotional. I have been trying to figure out why...but cant seem to. Part of me wonders if it has to do with the date of the birth and loss of Elizabeth. 2 years already on the 16th. Brynn's first birthday on the 11th. I am having a hard time with that too... And I don't know why. I am glad she is growing and developing like she should be. She is so much fun. But at the same time it just has gone so fast and that scares me.

I just wonder if it will ever be easier. I love Brynn so so so much... but cant help but wonder what Elizabeth would have been like. I never thought these emotions would be this strong 2 years later. I just cant figure out how to acknowledge and celebrate the short life of Elizabeth. I don't want to be fake about it and force it. But I also feel like my family won't acknowledge it. Not because they don't want to, it may be because they don't know if they should or how to. I don't even know if they remember the day.

I just needed to get my thoughts written down. Not my typical upbeat post.