Tuesday, January 3, 2012

In a Funk-- Emotional.

I don't know what is going on. I have not been anxious lately, but really emotional. I have been trying to figure out why...but cant seem to. Part of me wonders if it has to do with the date of the birth and loss of Elizabeth. 2 years already on the 16th. Brynn's first birthday on the 11th. I am having a hard time with that too... And I don't know why. I am glad she is growing and developing like she should be. She is so much fun. But at the same time it just has gone so fast and that scares me.

I just wonder if it will ever be easier. I love Brynn so so so much... but cant help but wonder what Elizabeth would have been like. I never thought these emotions would be this strong 2 years later. I just cant figure out how to acknowledge and celebrate the short life of Elizabeth. I don't want to be fake about it and force it. But I also feel like my family won't acknowledge it. Not because they don't want to, it may be because they don't know if they should or how to. I don't even know if they remember the day.

I just needed to get my thoughts written down. Not my typical upbeat post.

1 comment:

  1. I think your feelings for Elizabeth are still very raw...just think how we always say how fast the years ago..I am sure it feels like yesterday. Brynn is such a cutie and her day needs to be celebrated...but you need to honor your other sweet baby forever daughter!

    I hope you don't mind my two cents worth! If you do just tell me to go away..

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