I don't know what is going on. I have not been anxious lately, but really emotional. I have been trying to figure out why...but cant seem to. Part of me wonders if it has to do with the date of the birth and loss of Elizabeth. 2 years already on the 16th. Brynn's first birthday on the 11th. I am having a hard time with that too... And I don't know why. I am glad she is growing and developing like she should be. She is so much fun. But at the same time it just has gone so fast and that scares me.
I just wonder if it will ever be easier. I love Brynn so so so much... but cant help but wonder what Elizabeth would have been like. I never thought these emotions would be this strong 2 years later. I just cant figure out how to acknowledge and celebrate the short life of Elizabeth. I don't want to be fake about it and force it. But I also feel like my family won't acknowledge it. Not because they don't want to, it may be because they don't know if they should or how to. I don't even know if they remember the day.
I just needed to get my thoughts written down. Not my typical upbeat post.
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I think your feelings for Elizabeth are still very raw...just think how we always say how fast the years ago..I am sure it feels like yesterday. Brynn is such a cutie and her day needs to be celebrated...but you need to honor your other sweet baby forever daughter!
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't mind my two cents worth! If you do just tell me to go away..