Monday, January 16, 2012

Two Years.

I really don't have much to write about. I just want to dedicate my post tonight to Elizabeth. Two years ago we held our baby girl and said goodbye to her. It was something I never imagined being able to do... As well as something I never thought I would ever go through. We began some traditions to keep her memory alive which I am going to keep private, but just wanted to get out there I am thinking of our baby girl.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Happy Birthday Brynn!

I have a one year old daughter! Do you know how crazy that is to me? I feel like just yesterday my water broke, we were on our way to the hospital and we were pulling off the road at 6:30 am in the middle of a snow storm for Dan to use the bathroom at the Super America :o) You knew I just had to get that in there...

Brynn's birthday was Wednesday, the 11th. Dan and I had taken the day off to spend with her. We had a Wild game the night before. Unfortunatly, I think I got food poisoning from the chicken tenders and fries I ate there. I will NOT be eating those again. I ended up throwing up all day on Wednesday and wanting to be curled up in a ball in bed. Needless to say, the day did not go as planned. Brynn was happy and had a good day, but we didn't get to do everything we wanted to. I did pull myself together long enough to make it to the Children's Museum and she had so much fun there. As soon as we got home, I crawled into bed while Brynn napped, and I also went to bed that night at 7:30. Luckily I woke up the next morning and felt better, so I made it to work.

The weekend brought Brynnie's actual party. I spent all Saturday morning baking cupcakes from scratch. I made like 4 batches. I also made the frosting from scratch. It was a lot of work but they turned out so good.

Her party today went so well. She was a trooper. She was a lot overwhelemed by all the people... she kept walking to me and clinging to me, not wanting to put her down. It was sweet knowing she wanted me... but hard to try and mingle with her being like that. Once some people cleared out, she began to losen up a bit and play with the other kids. I have just a few pics for now that I will post. My friends Kevin and Kelsey (they are the ones who watch Brynn), Kevin took pics for me at the party so I don't have many until I get some from him :o) KJB Photography shout out!

I am so thankful for all of our family and friends that celebrated with us today. I know Brynn wont remember her special day, but I sure will for the rest of my life. Thanks to you all! :o)

These are pictures of Brynn the day of her actual birthday, 1.11, at the Children's Museum and then at our house.

Pictures from her Birthday Party!
Brynnie and her Auntie Shannon and Uncle Nick :)

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

In a Funk-- Emotional.

I don't know what is going on. I have not been anxious lately, but really emotional. I have been trying to figure out why...but cant seem to. Part of me wonders if it has to do with the date of the birth and loss of Elizabeth. 2 years already on the 16th. Brynn's first birthday on the 11th. I am having a hard time with that too... And I don't know why. I am glad she is growing and developing like she should be. She is so much fun. But at the same time it just has gone so fast and that scares me.

I just wonder if it will ever be easier. I love Brynn so so so much... but cant help but wonder what Elizabeth would have been like. I never thought these emotions would be this strong 2 years later. I just cant figure out how to acknowledge and celebrate the short life of Elizabeth. I don't want to be fake about it and force it. But I also feel like my family won't acknowledge it. Not because they don't want to, it may be because they don't know if they should or how to. I don't even know if they remember the day.

I just needed to get my thoughts written down. Not my typical upbeat post.