God Heals

Ok... be prepared for another sentimental post, it is also very personal. :)

Dan and I really like our priest at our new church. We feel so at home, and we both enjoy going to church each week. We went to mass this weekend, and I always look forward to Father's sermons. He has a way of keeping you interested. Anyway, this week, his sermon was about blame. Blaming others-- blaming God for all the bad things that happen in life. Blaming Him for Family and children who have cancer, devastating earthquakes, tsunamis, losing a child at birth... why would God allow such horrible things to happen? If I had a nickel for everytime I have said that statement over the last 5 years... I would be rich. Why did my dad have to have cancer? Why did his chemo not work? Why did my 11 month old puppy get killed the same weekend my dad was admitted into the hospital for his stem cell transplant? Why God, as if we are not going through enough, does my baby not survive and die at birth? The last 5 years just have been hell. Why God, did all of this happen?? Why did YOU allow this to happen? What did I do to deserve this?

We as humans love to blame other people for things. I am guilty of it. I never want to be "at fault". So, over the last 5 years, God has been the easy target to blame when all hell has broken lose. I still believed, but was losing faith. I didn't have much desire to go to church. God allowed all this stuff to happen, I just didn't want to go.

However, God doesn't want us to hurt. He doesn't want us to be in pain. He doesn't make these bad things happen. God's role in it all is healing. Helping me (us) get through all the tough times in life, and knowing I can pray to Him through it all. I didn't have much desire to go to church over the last 4-5 years. So, as Father began talking to us about this and God's role as a healer, it really hit home. I was guilty of blaming God for all of these things that have happened, but hadn't given him much credit for getting me through them. My dad and I are so close now. So much more so than before he was sick. We would not have this relationship if he didn't get sick. God helped our family get though my dad's sickness and hospital stay, even at times I didn't think it was possible. When Bella died, it truly was the most tragic thing I had ever experienced. She was my baby and was ripped away from me. While my dad was in the hospital and Bella was killed, this really was the darkest time in my life. I eventually healed, and got out of that dark time. When I found out Dan and I were going to lose our daughter, again, I was devastated. I had no idea how I was going to get through each day. However, God healed me and allowed us to be blessed with our beautiful daughter Brynn.

So, hopefully through all that babbling, you got my point. It is so easy to blame, especially God, when things go wrong. God doesn't cause these things to happen. He is there to help us heal when they do. It truly is amazing how we can heal. It doesn't mean it is easy to go through those tough times, but knowing God is there while healing from it, is a comforting feeling.