We Have a Date!

Talk about a whilrwind of emotions. One year ago to the day (tomorrow on the date--11th) we had our ultrasound for our first pregnancy. Dan and I were going to see our baby for the first time, and find out if we were having a boy a girl. On the same day, my whole world came crashing down... and that week was going to be one of the worst I ever woul dhave to go through. I went from having so much anticiaption and dreams about our baby, to having it ripped away in one week. I vividly remember that whole day... to the exact moment when Dan told me the news. It is so crazy to think about how one year later, where we are, and that we will be holding our daughter AND brining her home this week.

I had my 39 week appt today, based on Drs dates, I will not be 39 weeks until Wedensday, and they decided to induce me on Wednesday!! There are a few reasons as to why we are inducing. My blood pressure was sky high again, after checking my cervix, I am ready, and anxiety wise.... that is an issue as well. The closer we get to Brynn being born, the more anxiety I am dealing with. Not being able to sleep, playing horrible scenarios in my mind, I dread going to bed because my mind just races. I was suprised though we set the date for my induction today. The doctor initially said I would come back in for another appt, and we would get that scheduled, but then decided to just set up my induction. He anticiaptes me having her by Wednesday evening, based on my exam today and having been through labor once before. When the nurse walked in with the paperwork and told me it was going to be Wednesday, I got emotional and started crying. I can't believe I am finally going to be a mom, and tomorrow is going to be my last day at home, alone, for a really long time.

I am excited/ nervous/ scared for labor. I figure if I made it through knowing I was going to deliver a baby that wasn't going to live, this will be a piece of cake. I know it wont be... but I am trying to tell myself that! :) I just keep picturing seeing her for the first time, and holding her. I don't think I have ever been so excited for something in my life. I feel so blessed, and happy that I get to share this with Dan. He is going to be the best dad, and I cannot wait to see him hold our baby girl for the first time.

So, hard to believe, but next time I update our blog.... it will most likely be announcing Brynn's birth! I can not wait to show her off!! :o)