2 Weeks Old...

Well, I just about survived my first week home alone with Brynn. It has been up and down. I had my 2 week appt Tuesday to look at my c-section incision, and it was my first time out with Brynn alone. I was nervous for it! My incision looks great, so that was good. My blood pressure is still high... blah. Everyone at the clinic was so excited to see Brynn :o) I survived being out with her alone. I tell you, I have never been so aware of my surroundings while driving. Really makes you pay extra close attention having such precious cargo in the car.

As Tuesday went on.... I noticed Brynn was really stuffy and sounded like she was having a hard time breathing. Not what you want to see in your 2 weeks old baby. I was a nervous wreck about it. Dan and I ended up sleeping on the couch downstairs so Brynn could sleep more upwright in her swing. I didn't sleep well, worrying about her... but the swing seemed to help. I decided to call Dr. Gobel, Brynn's doctor, Wednesday morning to see if I should bring her in. They wanted me to. So, again, super nervous. She is so helpless and I can't stand seeing her uncomfortable. Brynn was not fussy at all due to the stuffy nose, and she didn't have a fever.

After checking her, the doctor said she just has a cold. She told me to buy saline drops and showed me how to use them... and it would probably pass in a week. Her lungs sounded good-- thank goodness. Her umbilical cord mostly fell off, but there was a part of it that was still almost soft. There is a name for it, I can't remember what she called it. The doctor put some stuff on it to help it dry up, and today it looks a lot more like a normal belly button :)

Today he stuffiness sounds better... but I feel so bad when she is trying to nurse and breathe through her nose and she is so stuffy. I am getting pretty nasty headaches everyday, and I am assuming it is from my high blood pressure.

I wanted to head into school tomorrow and bring in Brynn, but with her having a cold, I don't think it is a good idea, so hopefully next week. I may venture out tomorrow just to get out of the house. We will see how Brynn and I are feeling. I feel like I really over did it yesterday. When I got home from the doctor with Brynn, I cleaned like a maniac. I haven't done that much in a while.. and I was pretty sore today. My incision really doesn't hurt anymore... it is more on the inside.

We are getting pictures taken this weekend. Krissie, she took Dan and my engagement pictures, is coming over to do them. Our engagement pictures were amazing, so I am really looking forward to seeing them!

I don't love this picture... I still feel like I look so fat... I am down 35 lbs already! But can't wait to workout. But, it is a family picture, and hopefully we will have some better ones after this weekend.

Brynn Elizabeth is Here!!

Well the last week has been a whirlwind... so I am finally getting to updating my blog. It may get long :) A lot has changed in the last week....

So I had my induction set for January 12... Brynn had other plans!

On Tuesday morning (Jan. 11), I woke up at 5 am and couldn't sleep. I layed in bed and turned on the TV... thinking about what I was going to do that day, knowing it was my last day being alone before we had Brynn and I was going to be induced the next day. As I was laying in bed, around 5:45am, all of a sudden I had a huge gush of water come flowing out! I woke up my Dan and said "Dan! My water broke!!" He asked me if he had time to shower... I told him yes... and I got ready for the hospital. I couldn't believe my water had broken!! I had to put a huge bath towel in my pants for the trip to the hospital... because the water just kept coming!! I couldn't believe how much fluid there was!

We were out the door by 6:30 am, and of course, it was snowing and roads were not good. It took an extra 20 minutes or so to get there. I was beginning to have contractions on the way.... but nothing horrible yet. They were about 6-7 minutes apart. We were about 10 minuted away from the hospital, and Dan is telling me how bad he has to go to the bathroom.... apparently, so bad, that we had to pull off the highway, stop at a gas station, and he went to the bathroom as I am sitting in the car waiting for him!! I was so frustrated and couldn't believe it! Haha. I can look at it now and laugh, but boy, at the time, not so funny.

We finally made it to the hospital, they get us into our room, check me, and I am only 1-2 cm, and baby was still so high! They wanted to see how I would progress naturally, so they let me sit for about 3-4 hours, and came back to check to see where I was at. At about 11:30am, I was about 2-3 cm, and still very high. I was a bit disappointed at this point because I thought for sure I would be farther along. They decided to hook me up to pitocin to see if this helped. Once the pitocin started, my contractions kind of were all over the place. Then they became about 5 minutes apart, and pretty strong. I had to be progressing now! At about 5pm, they came in and checked my progress. To my surprise, NOTHING! No more dialation at all! She was still so high. The nurse said she couldn't believe how high she was. In her 9 years, she said she has never had a baby so high at this point in labor... oh lucky me. No progress.

As my contractions got stronger, Brynn's heartrate also began to decellerate during every contraction, so they decided to put in an internal contraction monitor and heartbeat monitor for better accuracy... they actually go into my uterus around the baby- so weird. After monitoring her closely and seeing no improvement, and seeing her heartrate decellerating, the Doctor came in and said we need to get her out now and that I would be having a c-section. I was so scared. I hated seeing her heartrate dropping, and a c-section scred me too. Now I was going to have surgery. Not exactly what I wanted or planned, but trusted the doctor, and wanted what was best for Brynn.

As they prepped me for surgery, Brynn was not being monitored, and I was convinced something was going to happen. Her heartrate kept going down, and now they weren't monitoring her. It felt like an eternity from when they prepped me to when she was born. I was so scared, but excited... the whole experience was feeling so surreal.

Finally, at 7:29 pm on 1.11.11, Brynn was born!!! I finally had my daughter and she was ok! She was so beautiful and perfect and I was elated! I laid there on the table, unable to hold her right away, bawling my eyes out! I could not stop sobbing. Dan got to walk out with her, which was hard for me to not be able to, and I got stiched back up. The c-section was not as bad as I thought it would be.... I thought I would feel more but really didn't. Dan went with her to the nursery to be bathed and measured, and half hour later we met in recovery.











Thank GOD we did the c-section. Brynn had the cord wrapped around her neck 4 times, and was facing up! This was what was causing her stress and her heart rate to decellerate. I am so thankful to have her here, and to have had such great doctors that made the best decision!

The first night... I didn't sleep much. My vitals had to be checked every hour since I had surgery... and I was so excited and didn't want to put Brynn down, or stop looking at her! I made it through the night though. I wasn't in a whole lot of pain at this point...

Wednesday is kind of a blur. I know we had visitors in and out all day. Pretty uneventful day. Thursday, was a whole other story. Talk about emotional... I was a disaster. With my hormones all over the place, and breastfeeding not going perfectly, and not having any sleep... the led me to a day full of tears. On top of it, Dan had to go home and work for a few hours. While he was gone, there were a ton of people who came in and out and I just felt so dumb because I was such a mess! Brynn would not breastfeed and I had to supplement her... and I just was so overwhelemed. I have to say, Thursday ended amazing though. My mother-in-law bought me a foot massage... they do them right in the hospital! They come to the room, play music, used different scented oils/ lotions, and I got a 45 minute massage. It was just what I needed on the best day it could have been! When we have another baby.... I will definitly want that again!

Friday was a better day. We got discharged and were able to go home. Again, bad drive home. I was so nervous in the car with Brynn, roads were so snowy and traffic was slow. Our first night at home didn't go so well. We were going to have Brynn stay in the pack and play in our room, but after the first night, realized that wasn't going to work. I couldn't see her from bed, and I had to get up and get her to eat at night. So... the nexy day, Dan went out to Babies 'R Us and bought me an Arms Reach Co-Sleeper. It is the best purchase we made!! Especially recovering from a c-section, I don't have to get out of bed... and I can just open my eyes and see her and know she is ok!

Saturday was another emotional day for me as well. I was a pumping maniac... waiting for my milk to come in. Because it hadn't yet, I still had to supplement with formula to Brynn, and I hated that I had to do it. I knew she needed to eat though.

Sunday I had a home nurse come in and check on me and Brynn since I was discharged a little early. Brynn was down to 7 lbs 1/2 oz.... so she had almost lost 10% of her weight, which is when they start to get nervous. I on the other hand, still had rediculously high blood pressure. It was 158/94... yikes. I never had high blood pressure before I was pregnant, and now it still hasn't dropped. Because it was so high, the nurse had to call the doctor to tell them and see what she needed to do. Doc said I had to make an appt at the clinic on Monday... oh great. One more thing for me to stress out. On a good note, my milk finally came in!

Monday was our first outing with Brynn... I had to go to the Dr.. Brynn had her pediatrician appt, and we had an appt. with a lactation consultant. The thought of all of this stressed me out! My blood pressure was still high, but the Dr. said just keep an eye on it, no need to put me on meds yet. Brynn's appt. went well, she was up to 7 lbs. 3 oz, so she had gained again! And the lactation meeting... amazing!!! I HIGHLY recommend going to see a lactation consultant because all it took was a nipple shield and Brynn latched on no problem!! She is a breastfeeding maniac now and this took SO MUCH stress of me. Now I only need to pump every now and then just to relieve myself! Once all my appts were done, I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulder. I was so excited to go home and relax!

Monday night was tough. Brynn was up every hour... she was cluster feeding! Sleep for and hour, eat a bit. Sleep an hour... eat. I was exhausted. Luckily, Tuesday we had nothing going on, so I was able to nap. It was our first day with no visitors too so it was nice just to have a break and Dan, me, and Brynn could enjoy eachothers company.

Last night\was amazing.... She only woke up once! I think it was probably a one night deal though. We will see. She slept a lot today... so hopefully tonght she will sleep again, but I am not betting on it.

I have to add... I got pooped on for the first time today. It was pretty impressive. It got all over my face, in my hair, on my shirt... it was disgusting, but I suprisingly didn't care! I jsut laughed, but then ran up and jumped right in the shower. Dan thought it was pretty hilarious.... I can't wait until it happens to him :)

I love being a mom. I love Brynn so much. I can just sit here and stare at her all day. One year ago Sunday was when I delivered Elizabeth, and it was so nice to have Brynn in my arms while thinking about where I was one year ago. I keep telling Dan I have never been so happy, and I really never have been. I hope and pray she stays healthy, and as good as she has been the last week. I can't believe a week has already gone by, and I know it will continue to go fast as well. I am just trying to cherish every moment, every cute face she makes... because I know soon enough these days will be gone and she will be so big! Thanks to all my friends and family for the congrats and prayers over the last 9 months. The support from all of you has been so nice.

We Have a Date!

Talk about a whilrwind of emotions. One year ago to the day (tomorrow on the date--11th) we had our ultrasound for our first pregnancy. Dan and I were going to see our baby for the first time, and find out if we were having a boy a girl. On the same day, my whole world came crashing down... and that week was going to be one of the worst I ever woul dhave to go through. I went from having so much anticiaption and dreams about our baby, to having it ripped away in one week. I vividly remember that whole day... to the exact moment when Dan told me the news. It is so crazy to think about how one year later, where we are, and that we will be holding our daughter AND brining her home this week.

I had my 39 week appt today, based on Drs dates, I will not be 39 weeks until Wedensday, and they decided to induce me on Wednesday!! There are a few reasons as to why we are inducing. My blood pressure was sky high again, after checking my cervix, I am ready, and anxiety wise.... that is an issue as well. The closer we get to Brynn being born, the more anxiety I am dealing with. Not being able to sleep, playing horrible scenarios in my mind, I dread going to bed because my mind just races. I was suprised though we set the date for my induction today. The doctor initially said I would come back in for another appt, and we would get that scheduled, but then decided to just set up my induction. He anticiaptes me having her by Wednesday evening, based on my exam today and having been through labor once before. When the nurse walked in with the paperwork and told me it was going to be Wednesday, I got emotional and started crying. I can't believe I am finally going to be a mom, and tomorrow is going to be my last day at home, alone, for a really long time.

I am excited/ nervous/ scared for labor. I figure if I made it through knowing I was going to deliver a baby that wasn't going to live, this will be a piece of cake. I know it wont be... but I am trying to tell myself that! :) I just keep picturing seeing her for the first time, and holding her. I don't think I have ever been so excited for something in my life. I feel so blessed, and happy that I get to share this with Dan. He is going to be the best dad, and I cannot wait to see him hold our baby girl for the first time.

So, hard to believe, but next time I update our blog.... it will most likely be announcing Brynn's birth! I can not wait to show her off!! :o)

Brynn's Room and 38 Weeks!

I thought it would be nice to finally get the pics of the nursery posted, now that it is officially complete! The last thing we were waiting on was the chair, and it came in last week and Dan got it put together. I would like to hang psalm 121 above the changing table. This was the psalm that was read when Elizabeth was born/ baptized, and it means a lot to me. I have been looking around online and it might be very expensive... so trying to get my creative juices flowing on how I would want to do it.











Speaking of Elizabeth... her birthday is coming up, January 16. I have found myself waking up every morning thinking about her, and Brynn, and having such a mix of emotions. So excited/ scared about Brynn's birth, and trying to replay everything in my mind about Elizabeth. I would like to do something special that day, whether it is lighting a candle and having a piece of cake... :) or something else Dan and I think is appropriate.

Well I am 38 weeks today and having contractions-- not regular-- and am feeling a lot of pelvic pain still. So much pressure. She is still pretty active and so big, so her movements hurt me a lot sometimes. I have also heard that your appetite slows down at the end of pregnancy.... apparently not for me. I can't seem to satisfy my hunger, no matter what I eat! Yikes. I have a lot of work ahead of me. I know I look huge because of the swelling.... and a lot of it is water. I can't wait until I look "normal" again.

I am having a lot of emotions... up and down... with the anticipation of Brynn. It still seems so surreal. I really don't believe it is going to happen sometimes. I find myself daydreaming about what she will look like and what life will be once she is here. I fall asleep thinking about her, and wake up thinking about her, and she isn't even born yet. I can't imagine what it will be like once I actually get to meet her.

This is my 4th week of bedrest, and I am ready to have my life back. I want to go out-- being in here is so tough. I am deifnitly looking forward to being done. I look forward to my Doctor appts every Monday just to get out! I have one again on Monday, another NST and BPP, and maybe we will talk induction to avoid Brynn being born on January 16th. I have no desire to be in labor with Brynn on the same day I was in labor delivering ELizabeth. I am going to be an emotional mess during the delivery regardless of when it is, and if I was having to deal with the emotions of Elizabeth's birth on top of it, I just don't want to think about it.

I guess I can't leave out the fun I got to experience Monday-Tuesday. At my doc appt Monday, they drew my blood and did testing again, and all of it came out fine. I have all the symptoms STILL of pre-e, the horrible swelling, high bp, headaches, etc.... so they made me do a 24 hour urine test. Basically every time I went to the bathroom, I had to collect it and keep it in a jug (nice). The best part?? Dan had to be the one to bring it in to the hospital on Tuesday :o) if that isn't love, I don't know what is.... I am not anticipating them finding protein in my urine (that is what they are testing for) since none of my samples at the office ever have any.... so we shall see. I haven't heard anything so I am assuming there was nothing.

Well... for now... that is all. I will update when there is something to update about!