Overwhelmed.

Brynn was breeched today :( I gained 6 lbs in 2 weeks :( :( I have SO much to get done before she is born, and it is SO HARD with Dan having school.... sitting on the floor and trying to put stuff together is so hard, and we don't have enough room in this stupid house. I want to move... and that is put on hold since student loans will kick in for him and he pays way more than should be allowed to for school. I am not having a good day, and feel really down in the dumps. On top of it, I don't even have Dan to talk to since he is gone at class tonight and tomorrow, and gets home, eats, watches TV, while I am in bed. I am feeling sorry for myself tonight, I know that, but I don't care. I feel so alone.

My whole body aches and hurts, none of my clothes fit and I don't want to waste money buying new ones, and the thought of having to lose all this baby weight from this pregnancy and Elizabeth is so overwhelming. The only thing keeping me somewhat sane is keeping my eye on the prize... holding Brynn in hopefully 7 weeks.

Sorry for the depressing post.... hopefully my mood improves this week. We do have our birth class on Saturday, hopefully that helps.... :-/

Another week....

This week marks 33 weeks! 4 weeks from being considered full term! Each day is full of more and more anticipation. I just can't wait to meet her, and have her here, yet have no idea what it truly will be like to be a mom.

Thanksgiving was nice. Full of food and family, and not without its drama :) But overall, a success. This was the first year we really didn't have leftovers to bring home. I was bummed about that. We were at my parents for most of the day, and went over to Dan's mom's to visit for the evening. Friday my sisters went out shopping, but there was no way I was about to join them! Dan and I went and got our Christmas Tree, and did some stuff around the house. It was a nice relaxing day. I have been having issues with my computer, but when I get a pic of the tree, I will try to get it posted. The tree fits perfectly in its spot :) Dan cooked chili Friday as well. We had it to feed my family for when they came down and helped on Saturday with the baby room!

Saturday my mom, dad, and sister made their way over to our house and helped out so much. Dan and I are so lucky we have the family support we have. My mom took the lead on the painting. We painted it a pale yellow, and it is perfect! The room looks so bright! It matches perfectly. I can't wait until it is completely done. I went out and bought a dresser yesterday that Dan needs to still take out of my car :) and put together. Once that is done, I can start organizing clothes and washing them. The last big purchase we need for the room is a chair. Then of course decorating the walls... and it will be all set! Dan and my dad put the crib and changing table together-- they look great!

Brynn has been moving SO MUCH the last few days. It is crazy to sit and watch my stomach move. She is so strong. I am curious if I am going to have one more ultrasound-- I am hoping to find out tomorrow at my Dr. appt. if I will have one more. It is hard to believe that my due date is right around the corner.

That is really all for right now. Maia loves resting her head on my big tummy, and she is as I type this, and Brynn is just kicking away and Maia is not even phased. It is funny :) Shannon is moving home on Sunday, and that will be so awesome. She starts a new job Dec. 6, and can't be more excited for her to be living back home.

I will update either tomorrow or Wednesday about my Dr. appt. Have a good week! :o)

Happy Thanksgiving!

8 weeks left... 5 until I am full term! Wowzer! I cannot wait :o) I am so ready to have my body back, and my little girl in my arms! I am feeling very pregnant and uncomfortable. If I had a nickel for everytime someone asked me how I was feeling, I would be rich! :) I don't really know how to best answer that question-- other than saying "pregnant." I definitly don't feel good.

I had my 2nd shower on Sunday! Again it was so nice and Dan and I are so spoiled. My aunt threw it for me. We now have most of our big items. Dan and I cleaned out what will be Brynn's room last weekend, and now we will soon have a place to put all these wonderful gifts! My mom and sister are going to help paint Saturday... and hopefully get the crib put together and set up. All we need left to buy for the room is a rocking chair and our dresser. I can't wait until it is all done!

I ended up calling my Drs office yesterday-- I had an anxiety filled day. Brynn hadn't been moving as much as she had been, so I began to get nervous. I called in, and they wanted me to come in right away for a non-stress test. It consisted of them hooking my belly up to two monitors-- one for babys heartbeat and one to monitor if I was contracting. All looked great though! It was fun to hear her heartbeat, and see how it went up everytime she moved. It was good for my piece of mind. If I hadn't called, I would have been worried all this Thanksgiving weekend. I am proud of myself for making it to 32 weeks before having to go in to the Dr. I thought I would have to a lot more, but have managed my anxiety well.

As I get closer and closer to when she is suppose to be here, I get more nervous. I think because I am more and more attached, and so afraid to have her ripped away again, like Elizabeth was. I am still trying to convince myself we are going to take her home. When I look at all the things we have gotten, I am so afraid we will have it all and no baby to go along with it. I sit and daydream about life with her, what she will look like, what her personality will be like, how Dan will be with her. I hope I will be a good mom, and know what to do. It is very overwhelming to think of it all... but I am so excited and ready for it.

We are going to my parents for Thanksgiving tomorrow, should be nice. I am hoping Dan and I will get a tree on Friday-- we are getting a real one this year, less work for me :) Our fake one is awesome, but so tedious to put together/ take down, and I don't want to have to worry about doing that!

Dan is done with grad school Dec. 22!!! We will have a life again, and I can't wait! Hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving! Be safe with all this snow!

31 Weeks!

Just wanted to post a quick since I had an appt yesterday. Baby is looking good! I got to see her quick, and the nurse commented on how she has my lips-- aka they are big:) She is head down, and I hope she stays that way! My blood pressure is still high, but nothing where they need to be concerned yet. My weight is distgustingly high... and I have never been so motivated to work out!! I can't wait. I am now into appts. every 2 weeks, so my next one will be on Nov 30th.

Lastly-- comments people make. Seriously?! I don't feel like I am too big for where I am, I am right on pace. My Doctors aren't concerned. So please.. I don't need to hear comments on how huge I am, how I look like I am going to pop, asking if I am sure I am not having twins.... etc. Please. WHY would these comments/ questions ever be ok?! I am in pain daily due to being pregnant, the last thing I need is a stupid comment from someone about how huge I am. *Vent Over*

Another shower Sunday! Also beginning on the room-- hopefully to finish over Thanksgiving with the help of my mom! :o)

Acid Reflux

As I am writing this, all I am thinking about is how this acid reflux is no fun. I don't know if it is from what I had for lunch-- Goulash thanks to Nick :)-- or my stomach being smashed and Brynn moving constatnly and forcing my stomach acid into the back of my throat! All I keep asking myself is if I would be better off going and getting sick in the toilet... if I would feel better, because right now it is not a good feeling.

So Satuday.... where do I begin?!?! What a day! Murphy's Law-- of course it was going to be the first snow, and a HUGE snow at that! My shower was at 11 am at Amy's house. She lives in Cottage Grove. I woke up Saturday morning from not being able to sleep at about 6 am-- looked out the window, and could not believe all the snow that was already on the ground! I didn't think it was suppose to begin until later in the afternoon. My first thought was Shannon-- oh crap. She was trying to get on an 8am flight from Chicago. Her flight ended up being delayed, and then when they reached Mpls., had to circle around a few times before they could land. She made it, but it was close! I had two friends not able to make it due to the weather, but was so happy that everyone else weathered the storm and made it! Jodi drove down from Elk River, and Amber drove in on Friday night from West Bend, WI (near Milwaukee). It was so nice to see her, it had been way too long. I ended up being about 45 min late to my own shower... but the weather was why. My friend Kat met at my house so we could drive together. Made it here just fine, but got stuck of course right in front of my house. With a few little tricks, and about 20-25 minutes later, we got her out of the road and parked into the parking in front of my house. I still had to drive to Amys, and pick up my sisters at my parents house. By this point, the roads were plowed on the way, and traffic wasn't bad. I just drove slow.

The shower was so perfect! Amy and Sara did such a great job hosting. The food was wonderful-- brunch themed. The cakes were delicious. The games we played were fun too! I hadn't played either of them before. We played one with candy bars... there were pictures of a bunch of different types on a poster board. Amy read things such as "Breastfeeding", and we had to shoose from the candy bars which on fit the descriptions. In that case, it would be Milky Way. So fun. The other game was a string game... everyone had to measure a piece of string/ ribbon and have it fit the closest around my belly. That was fun too!

I got some great things for Brynn, and best of all, it was just so nice to catch up with everyone and just chat!! I truly am blessed with some amazing friends in my life.

Tomorrow is my 31 week appt. From here on out I will be going every 2 weeks Dr. said. I am curious how my blood pressure will be, since it has been high... and what they will say about that. I am also curious to find out if she has flipped yet and is head down. I feel like she is... based on where her hiccups have been-- and she has been getting them so much lately!!

I will update after the doc tomorrow if there is anything significant to report. I also forgot my camera for my shower since I was in such a hurry trying to get out of the hosue and to Amy's... so hopefully Amy/ Sara can give me some to post on here :)

Not much has changed...

... since last post. I am still feeling the same. Very achy, hard to roll over in bed and lifting my legs to resituate is a chore! I moan and groan everytime I have to move... so it is a good thing Dan is a sound sleeper!

Brynn is so very active, and getting very strong! There are some days when it hurts when she moves... and seeing my belly move around and hiccups are now an everyday occurence. It will be interesting to see on Tuesday what position she is in and if she has flipped since my last appt... I think her head is down based on where I have felt her hiccuping.

I have my first baby shower tomorrow! That is super exciting. I will post pics (If I allow me to be in any) afterwards. It will be high school friends and some friends from college. Hopefully the snow we are predicted to get doesn't cause it to be a bust! My sister is flying in, and my good friend Amber is making the trip from Wisconsin! I have some of the best friends ever! :o)

There is just a little update on life. Just so excited for her to be here-- even though so much to get done before then. Sometimes I still have a hard time believing it is all going to happen and fall into place... actually most of the time that is how I feel. I can't wait to have her in my arms. Have a good weekend!

Feeling huge.... really.... how can I possibly get bigger??

The title of today's entry is exactly how I have been feeling. I just got back from Miami on Monday night, and if I didn't feel huge before I left, I definitly do now. After seeing pictures of me, and looking at myself in a bathing suit. Wow. Dan was laughing at me too.... thanks honey. I obviously want this little one to cook until she is healthy, but come 37 weeks, I will not mind at all if she decides to make an appearance. I am always early for things, so hopefully she will be too!

My back has been killing me. My feet are swollen... my legs are swollen too! I just am looking bigger and bigger everyday. My appetite is unmanagable.

Brynn was breech at my last appt... so I am hoping she flips or we can get her to turn before the big day. Of course what is most important is for her to be healthy... and me of course, but the idea of a c-section is not pleasing to me. I want this birth to be as "normal" as it can be. I want to experience that.

Miami was good. Exhausting, and I now know I don't ever want to have to fly at 28-29weeks pregnant. Not enjoyable. Traveling in itself isn't as fun. I was so tired and didn't want to walk around a lot, especially in the heat. Since Dan had night class last week Mon-Wed night, I left early Thursday morning and came back Monday night at like 9:15, then Dan had night class last night and tonight, so I FINALLY get to see him tomorrow night.... only for him to make me a hunting widow this weekend :( I can't begin to put into words how excited I am for him to be done with school. I can't imagine how he feels.

My next Dr. appt is Tuesday, Nov 16. I will be about 31 weeks. Then I begin my every 2 week appts!! I can't believe it! This weekend I am hoping to really make a dent in the baby room... my first shower is coming up on the 13th, and I need to make some room!

I will leave you with some of my favorite pictures from our last ultrasound. Who do you think she looks more like? Me or Dan?? :o)