Not being pregnant this month made my feelings about my ectopic resurface. My feelings of anger came roaring back, and I've been pretty emotional. I should be 5
months pregnant... And here I am sitting with 5 negative preg tests. Yes 5-- remember my earlier post? Women trying to get pregnant pee on everything. I tell myself I'm not going to obsess... But then that goes out the window. Don't tell me "don't stress... Just let it happen." F that. I'm sorry... When I want a healthy baby more than anything, and I am still mourning my loss... Don't tell me to "relax." I hate that.
So here we are... On to month two of trying again. And the scariest part? Whenever/ if I get pregnant again... that's not the end. I could end up right back here due to a loss again. But here I am plugging on through. What do I know? My kids-- assuming I have another-- are going to be the most loved kids and they will definitely know how much we love them-- and I don't take one moment for granted.
On a side note-- I am being very candid about this journey. I debated, but at this point, what's the point? Again... my blog helps me process my feelings-- writing has always been therapeutic for me-- and I know there are other women out there that unfortunately can relate because the amount of feedback I've been getting from friends/ acquaintances about how they can relate to what I'm going through... Has been overwhelming. So we are on this journey together... called life. We just need to have faith in Him and try to understand that He is in control. ❤️
